How to Reset a Strained EA–Executive Relationship

By Amanda Vinci

I’ve been thinking a lot about what really makes or breaks the partnership between an EA and their executive. And the truth is, it’s never the tasks, the systems, or even the skills. Those things help the work run smoothly, but they’re not what hold the relationship together.

It always comes back to three things: trust, respect, and understanding. When one of these is missing, tension creeps in. You start to feel overlooked, frustrated, or taken for granted. When two are missing, the partnership feels heavy and disconnected. You start to question whether the role — or the relationship — is still right for you. And when all three are gone, that’s usually when an EA decides to leave.

This isn’t unique to work. The same applies to any partnership; your executive, your team, even at home. Trust, respect, and understanding are the glue. So the real question is: what do you do when the cracks start to show? Because at some point, they will. Every partnership comes under pressure.

That’s where the RESET Framework comes in.

RESET isn’t about ignoring tension or pretending everything is fine. It gives you a way to bring the relationship back to centre, before the strain turns into a breaking point.

The RESET Framework

Reflect

Pause before reacting. Check in with yourself so you can see what’s really going on, not just what you’re feeling in the moment.

Expectations

Misalignment is one of the biggest causes of strain. Reset what matters most right now, both theirs and yours.

Speak

Silence doesn’t solve anything. Opening the conversation early prevents resentment and assumptions from taking over.

Execute

Change only happens when action follows the conversation. Adjust how you work together, don’t just talk about it.

Track

Small check-ins stop small issues from becoming fractures. Don’t wait until it’s beyond repair.

RESET is the practical tool but it’s what sits under it that determines how strong the partnership really becomes.

The Deeper Backbone of Partnership

High-performing EA–Executive relationships are built on more than communication. The foundations are often unspoken: standards, values, and integrity.

Your standards – What you hold yourself to.

Their standards – What they expect and demand of the people around them.

Integrity – Following through. Doing what you say you’ll do, every single time.

Values – Working with someone whose principles and priorities aren’t completely at odds with your own.

When those are present and when trust, respect, and understanding are actively nurtured, the partnership doesn’t weaken under pressure. It strengthens because of it.

That’s when you stop constantly patching cracks and start building something that lasts.

Because at the end of the day, the most powerful advantage you have isn’t AI, systems, or even skill. It’s leadership. And leadership starts with the relationship.